…while waiting for the cement floor of their coop to get finished. Now, if you haven’t seen a wet chicken, I hope you never do! The poor things look like pathetic shrunken versions of themselves. We had to rustle two of them out of hiding places when the coop was finally ready for bed. Actually, when we found the rooster in the bushes and got him picked up and complaining, the other missing lady, who was hiding under the front porch out of the rain (do not ask me why the rooster selected the wet and cold bush as a hiding spot) came running lickety split. This is a good thing as I did not want to try and climb under the porch in the rain and the dark and the cold.
While I am most grateful that the chickers got themselves out of the rain, I am hoping that none of them catch a cold. Of course, we could have waited on putting in the cement floor until things warmed up, but something has been digging into the chicken coop and stealing some eggs. While I don’t mind sharing eggs, I do mind having creepy things in the coop which might nibble on chicken toes, bring in mites or other insects, eat the chicken food, and generally be pests. So, the cement floor was called for most certainly.
It’s been a busy time here on Hummingbird Hill. The adopted niece has been coming over to help make some pottery. She wants to start up an Etsy shop..we shall see about that one. In reality the most of the busy comes from mom’s increasing doctor’s appointments. She had to have her lungs drained again yesterday, and an ultrasound of something that has happened to her side. She was planning on making it to her birthday on May 23rd, but she’s not sure that is going to happen. I’m not sure either, but I keep telling her she can make it if she wants. After all, she’s done 21 years of fighting with cancer, certainly she can make a few more months, right?
The thing is, since she’s gone mostly blind in the past month, she has lost a bit of her fight as well. Her attitude is still great, she’s keeping things positive, she is still working on crocheting a blanket for one of her former first grade students, but really, there’s only so much fight one person can have when that person has basically been in constant pain for over fifteen years. (Her first round of cancer was bad, but the pain wasn’t quite as constant until the cancer blockers took her bone mass down to around 45%.) I don’t know how folks with chronic pain keep on going in this world designed to wear us down even more. I just don’t know.
I started typing this post on Friday night, but I didn’t get it finished. I was waiting for my very first YouTube video to upload so I could make it live. And just as I typed 45% in the last paragraph it loaded, finally. I got the video all in order (such as it is) and shared it. I texted the link to mom so she could watch. Her reply, “Well, you weren’t as stiff as in your last draft.” She makes me laugh. That’s my mom for you. The truth is, I am stiff in the video. And I feel slightly awkward. It is a weird thing, making content for other folks to consume. I suppose writing books and music and making art for the ages has always been that way, but I am not sure it has ever been so immediate and accessible.
I don’t know I think we all have this human instinct to connect and share our views of reality with others. Maybe we think if other people can experience for just a moment that which we are and that which we see in the world, or experiences are somehow more real. This is not to say that I believe humanity has a performative urge to the way we live, but rather that in those moments when we are somehow seen and recognized for our experiences of life, those experiences are somehow either less…or more. Less painful, maybe if someone else recognizes our struggles. More vibrant if someone else recognizes our delights. I’m pretty sure we are suppose to work on recognizing ourselves and our experiences more and focusing less on the view of the other, but I rather feel as if our social instincts make that pull towards the other a bit hard to avoid.
Anyway, since some of you are my first followers anywhere (thank you by the way…I wish you would say hello sometimes), if you would like to check out my first youtube video and get a quick look at bits of my garden, pop on over to YouTube and let me know what you think. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcD8WBdcYxQ
Thank you for checking in to see what’s up with me, my mom, and my garden. I know I promised gratitude at the start, but I’m not sure how to sell that in a way which doesn’t diminish some of the real junk that humans are dealing with/have dealt with/will continue to deal with in this world we have created. I’m grateful for a ton of things. I’m also furious, stressed, worried, and so many other emotions about things going on in the world…in my world…in life. I guess that’s why I’m still grumpy and decided to focus on the garden. *grin*
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I’m just someone trying to figure out how to juggle ten acres, work, a mama with stage four cancer, and a whole lot of grumpy. This blog started out as “Grumpy Gal’s Guide to Gratitude,” but since all I really keep typing about is the garden, I figured I might as well own it! So, thanks for joining me as I try and figure out how the heck to kick myself in the booty and get on with life.