Everyone (talk about a huge generalization) knows that the holiday times are a rough time of year. There are hundreds of articles out there which say so. At least, I think there probably are. In this new age of factless claims, I can just make all sorts of random claims and leave other people to do the work of actually proving or disproving what I say through actually doing research. Since academic research is one of my least favorite aspects of all things written, I figure this new trend will at least have some benefits in may life. Of course, the probability that people who I would love to discuss interesting ideas with will think that my writing is a waste of time because it lacks all sorts of evidence and the like is very high.
That said, there seems to be some general feeling out there that the holidays are a stress inducing time for people. Perhaps the push to spend tons of money we don’t have to buy products we don’t need which will eventually wind up in landfills we tend to ignore unless they are right in our own backyards could cause some people anxiety. I don’t know if it is the upcoming events, my mom’s struggle to do as much as she can while she can still stand for ten or so minutes at a time, my unemployment, or the cold weather, but I am not having a lot of luck with gratitude on the large scale this past week.
I type that, and then I sigh. I guess I am always grateful for things like magnificent clouds, chipper chickens, and interesting people…but those seem like things that are just givens in the whole gratitude game. Really, who sees an amazing sunrise and isn’t delighted? Even when I’m at my most grumpy, the play of light and shadow glancing off a wall or kissing tree tops is something worth observing and contemplating. So I suppose I say, I am not having much luck with the actual act of being grateful that my life doesn’t suck as much as other people’s lives which really, really suck.
Having enough of my basic needs met allows me the privilege to asses the range of possible suckiness in life and grumble without actually having to have my life suck so much I am living in my car, or don’t have entertaining chickens around to follow me. Now, the fact that if I happen to stay unemployed for much longer the chickens may have to be given away because I have to sell the place I live…that’s perhaps where my worry about this state of grump becoming a more fixed state in my life comes from.
Still, I started this whole gratitude thing because being the family grump makes me feel like a total looser. Which makes me feel even grumpier, which makes it harder to think that any of this busy-ness we call life has any point at all. In anywise, I’m going to keep on trying this gratitude thing, but I can’t say I like it at the moment.
I do, however, like it when Jack the donkey comes over to get his forehead rubbed. He likes to press his nose on my sternum. I am grateful that Jack is around to help me remember that sometimes a good hug helps everything look a little better. Yeah. I guess that’s something.
I'm just someone trying to figure out how to juggle ten acres, work, a mama with stage four cancer, and a whole lot of grumpy. This blog started out as "Grumpy Gal's Guide to Gratitude," but since all I really keep typing about is the garden, I figured I might as well own it! So, thanks for joining me as I try and figure out how the heck to kick myself in the booty and get on with life.